In 2007, I was introduced to Chuvaness.com–well, back then, it was her LiveJournal. I am uncertain what drew me to the blog of Cecile Zamora van Straten, why I faithfully followed her life online (and even to this day, I still do), and why I joined her contests. Today, I still read her blog; I even follow her on Instagram and on Twitter. She remains influential, and even with the rise of different bloggers and social media influencers, she is still the only one who could truly, heavily influence me.

You want proof? She’s the reason why I am obsessed with COMMES des GARÇONS PLAY. Well, I only have two pieces for now.

My mother bought this in Tokyo last year. I believe this is part of the COMME des GARÇONS PLAY x Converse Polka Dot Chuck Taylor Japan limited collection.

I got this in 2014. It’s a common pair–part of the COMME des GARÇONS PLAY X Converse Pro Leather 2013 Collection.

Another evidence of how CVS has influenced me? I do love the COMME des GARÇONS Play line, but everyone has a shirt or a polo, so I got shoes. Two pairs. And I am guessing my birthday gift to myself this year would be another one. In a way, she influenced me to be confident in being the unique person I want to be truly am.

Beyond that, Cecile Zamora van Straten inspired me to write. To have my own voice, to have my own distinct way of communicating to people in prose. She inspired me to be constantly aware of the world around me. To be one of the first among circles to know anything and everything, and share the good–and the bad–news to people. She inspired me to be a blogger. To be committed to update people online with what’s happening with my life (even if it’s not anywhere near as exciting nor interesting than hers).

Yes, I have had my fair share of blogs before I came across Chuvaness. I had one in 2004, another in 2005, and one in 2008. I am still figuring out a way to delete them; I unfortunately can’t recall my log-in details for those accounts. Please help!! But this one, this WordPress account I created just a few years back? This is something I will be keeping.

You don’t want to believe me? Ha! I bought my own domain! I have a “dot com”. No, not a “wordpress-dot-com”, a dot com. Check the web address area. What does it read? Wow. I have my own site…or, at least, a blog-without-the-wordpress-dot-com.

I have a dot com. I just paid to secure my name. This is my own site. My own space.

I mean, at one point I just stopped updating this. I found it too tedious. It was too taxing. I just ran out of interesting things to place. To share. I felt insecure that others were doing a great job at sharing their life, and I became unsure of the whole purpose of having my own blog again. It didn’t make sense. It was only until recently that I remembered. This is for me.

I decided to create this a few years ago, to try to understand what is it about sharing my life online is like.I made this to have a place to express myself. THIS blog, this site, this space, is for me. A place to dump my photos, to detail my experiences, my adventures, what I see, what I eat, who I am friends with–who I want to be friends with–this…this is my safe space. This is where I let the millions of ideas running in my head free, and you don’t necessarily have to read any of it, nor agree to any of them (should you decide to spend time understanding what my values or principles), nor have to see my entries as this is not Facebook where you suddenly see people shoving down their ideas down your throats. No. 

This is my blog with my name and the dot com right after it. And I could do whatever I want here. This is my little nook in the entire Internet. This is a space I could call my own. This permits me to say, “I have a blog. It’s not pretty. It’s not filled with much recent content. It’s not exactly informative, nor inspiring. But, yeah. I have a website, and soon, it will be packed with posts that will give everyone a better idea of who Macky del Rosario is…or at the very least how I want to be seen.”

I’m excited to fill this up, and after a year, if I do see myself wanting to make this a space I would have no qualms sharing to others–even in a professional setting–then I’d customize it completely. Align it more to my identity. And if you know anyone willing to do it at a reasonable cost, do let me know. If you are willing to do it at cost, please, let me know. My only fear is if the excitement leaves me. If one day I wake up and just not feel like sharing again. If after being on a roll, I just stop. Sure, there is the whole, “Macky, you just paid $ XX.XX to own your domain.” But it’s beyond that.

I’m not making any promises; we’ll just see how things will go. And fingers crossed, this excitement…this thrill, this elation, this high won’t escape me this time around. I’m in this for the long haul.