Totally Unexpected

My day hasn’t been the best of days. This morning wasn’t so pleasant at all. At one point inside the car I had to start breathing heavily because I was having a hard time to breathe normally. My head started to ache badly and I just wanted to breakdown…

I felt that a lot of things were just overwhelming me all at the same time and everything’s just weighing me down. I know you might go on saying that some people have it worse, that I have to suck it up and just move on. Yeah, I know that…but am I not allowed to cry every so often? Am I not allowed to feel pain? There are the times when I ask myself why when bad things happen to me, they happen all at the same time. The moment I settled in Matteo I just wanted to toss everything and wail and just fall on the floor and just let myself feel what I was feeling: tons of misery with sprinkles of intentions of running away from everything… but I didn’t.

Went to my LS125 class and arrived a bit early. I was just looking out the windows and my German classmate pinched me and asked me how I was and it would’ve been easy to lie and say that I’m okay, that I’m just sleepy…but no, I couldn’t. I had watery eyes and I just had to tell her I wasn’t feeling at my best. During class I started to make myself feel better by just covering up what I was feeling by thinking of happy thoughts like Blue Christmas, France, the sensation of sipping a Peppermint Mocha while people watching. And at one point when Gianna was holding my Moleskine, my German classmate, Mirjam, got it and placed a sticker on my planner. She didn’t stick it, really, she just placed it on top. And I swear, it made me feel a lot better. A LOT better.

It was totally unexpected, really…and it made me realize how, lately, most of the people who have been so kind to me are those I’m not really even exactly close to.

Unexpected, totally unexpected that the one who made my day better is someone I just met a few weeks ago. So, thank you Mirjam! I really do hope you continue to enjoy your stay here in the Philippines. 🙂

Totally Unexpected

All Heart. All Out.

I am not sure if I have told anyone this but until now I still do not know how I’m making my Senior year special. It has been a dilemma of mine since after my summer internship and until now I am not quite sure how I’m making the most out of my Senior Year.

Now that it’s the Second Semester and all of the lasts are being counted again, the planning for ACTM’s LTC has resumed. To be honest, I am really happy that our EB trusts Dainz and I with this project, because this project really means a lot to me. When I was in Second Year, Gayle, Tonio and I spearheaded in reformatting the project. In a way, we pioneered the sleepover LTC and not just a series of talks. So yeah, Dainz and I have been putting much thought on how to make the LTC more effective, more innovative…to make the LTC a much fruitful experience for everyone– the participants, facilitators, organizers. We’re definitely gonna keep some things to ourselves so we won’t spoil the surprises for the participants and facilitators. (take note: surpriseS)

What I am scared of is that some of the things might feel rushed and we obviously don’t want that. There is great pressure because we have to accomplish so much in such a short amount of time…but I really believe we can do this. We may have a slow start but believe me, we are gonna be able to accomplish so much between now until our very last deliverable.

I am really excited but scared at the same time because what if our profs suddenly just throw more acads or unforeseen external factors suddenly appear. But I guess starting today, it’s really just having the org and the participants in mind and in our hearts (and yes, that might have been cheesy).

And that is why, I guess, my mantra while working for the LTC is “All Heart. All Out.”

Till then, bises!

All Heart. All Out.

And There Goes My Last SemBreak

As some of you may know, I went to France last year to study in ESC Rennes for exchange and I spent my whole Sembreak there in Italy and a few days in Paris. That thought really got me thinking how this Sembreak can top that. To be honest, I am not sure if it did, but I can say that I really enjoyed my last Sembreak in Ateneo.

I went to Singapore as early as the first Sunday of the break and stayed there for 5 days. Attended my cousin’s wedding the day after I arrived. Although enlistment was really crazy and got me panicking the whole time, I still got the schedule I wanted. I had a fun Fontana getaway with some CTM’13 JTAers (with the non-singles, significant others). Attended this AlumniFrance Home Coming for all who have studied in France where I felt out of place. Haha! Was able to be mighty productive for Blue Christmas 2012. Was able to watch “A Secret Affair”. Was able to read a lot.

I can pretty much say that this SemBreak didn’t go wasted. I made sure I’m always preoccupied with something while having loads of rest as well. You might be wondering how I made the most of my last SemBreak day and, well, it’s kinda funny.

You see, ever since the trailer of “Suddenly It’s Magic”, I told myself I will watch it no matter what. And that’s what I pretty much did today! I told my mom to bring me to Shang so I can do some supplies shopping as well. So I bought a ticket (yes, I watch movies by myself) and bought notebooks then went to Figaro to chill.

It was fun just sipping a cup of cappuccino while letting time pass because there was also wifi so I was able to message my brother.
The movie was really light and enjoyable. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen! I found the chemistry of Mario Maurer and Erich Gonzales quite cute. The crowd wasn’t dull as well! And this was the only instance that I didn’t get annoyed of people talking because they kept on making remarks like “ang ganda ni Erich kahit tulog!” (Erich looks beautiful even when she’s asleep!). The Thai actors and actresses english weren’t as bad as people told me, too! They were good! And it was cute that Baifern Pimchanok aka “P’nam” in “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” was there! Totally didn’t expect it!
Mom fetched me then as I arrived home I quickly wrote on my ‘sticker-ed’ planner. Because I the stickers from the Esplanade were really cute and so fitting, I decided to stick them on my planner!

And I decided to write on my notebook/s as well this! Haha!

So yeah, suffice to say I’m pretty excited for tomorrow! Hoping my classmates will be fun and I hope to make a lot of new friends this week! I’m also hoping all the best for Blue Christmas! The next coming weeks will be busy as hell but things will really go fine, I bet! 🙂

The quality of the photos is such because my brother gave me his iTouch and yeah, I’ve been depending on it for taking photos lately. Not the most stellar quality but it’s convenient!

And There Goes My Last SemBreak