Sixteen Years Ago.

Throwback Thursday Post!

My father took this photo.

June 02, 1997, Monday. My first day as an Atenean. I have vague memories of that day but I certainly remember my dad and my mom excitedly brought me to my classroom, and I’m guessing my brothers were excited for me too. Prep Maginoo.

I was in the classroom and when my family left me in the room, I was just alone and scared…and I felt like a loser not knowing anyone (because some of my classmates knew each other). When my parents were about to leave, my dad or I think my mom called me, waving, smiling and my dad took a picture of me. Obviously I wasn’t really THAT excited. I was scared. I was awkward…and I bet I still am. I was very much uncertain what would life be for the next years…and in that moment, I swear we were infinite. loljk. I started my life in Ateneo pretty much a loner. People refuse to believe that at one point in my life I didn’t like talking to people, I would eat recess alone, no one wanted to play games with me, teachers would tell me to speak louder because I was afraid to make mistakes, I was afraid to be a someone, an anyone that people would notice. Those were the days when I convinced myself that I’ll never have good friends, that the number of my friends would be less than the number of fingers I have. Sixteen years ago, I honestly quite didn’t expect to enjoy talking to people, I didn’t expect to know a lot of people, to have such good friends, to not be afraid to speak up and sometimes defend myself to people of authority (hehe sorry for crossing the line at times), I never expected that people would ask me to join them eat lunch or hang anywhere! I was just contemplating the other day that maybe Ateneo didn’t break me, maybe I’m a failure of some sort… I may not be as broken as my batchmates who are set to change the country, but for what’s it worth, Ateneo brought down the walls which once forbid me from going out of my comfort zone, from setting out to go on adventures, from challenging conventions. And I guess in the process, Ateneo did break me. I don’t know if my small ways have affected others, from making them laugh, to just listening to them, to the amounts of hugs I have given, to the moments shared…but hey, I gave it a try. And perhaps, for now, that’s the only thing that matters. From that scared little kid who was confused in life, to a bigger man not scared anymore, ready to take on what life has in store for him. World, here I come!

My brother took this photo.
My brother took this photo.
Sixteen Years Ago.

Life of A (F)unemployed Person

While people have been saying that after college, a new chapter begins or a new chapter unfolds, I honestly believe that it’s not just a new chapter. I really think that it’s a new book altogether, although part of the same series. I think that life after college is a huge leap. There would be less breaks, us graduates will be more independent, at least, that’s what I think. It’s the time that we show what we have learned from the past 16 or so years we’ve had. It’s not just the application of what we have learned in our courses be it Finance or Computer Science. No. I think it’s more than that. What we do after college is perhaps—ideally—the sum of everything we have learned from our teachers, our interactions with different people, exposure to different realities around us. I think what I just said is a bit flawed but it makes sense most of the time. The decisions have made and the decisions some of us are yet to make, ultimately are rooted in our formation from school…and the compromise we make with our parents.

Anyway, two days ago I decided to buy a Moleskine plain notebook that would act as my journal post-college. I plan to chronicle everyday of my life as much as I can. I have so much time in my hands right now as I am currently (f)unemployed—my way of being in denial that I am unemployed. I have already done one entry, and it feels good to be back writing. For some reason, it feels better to write what I think and what I feel more than typing it. I guess it’s more raw that way? Take for example the fact that it takes me much time to make an entry because I would review the whole entry and move some parts up or delete parts. When I write, it is what it is. The way that pen glides through the pages also feels so nice. It’s like I’m back in the Grade School days. Haha.

DSC_0011 copyAs much as I would want to blog everyday, I don’t think my life is blog-worthy, on a daily basis that is. I really feel though that everyday, every feeling, every thought is worth journaling; everything is worth cherishing. Maybe I’ll be done writing on this journal by the end of the year and I’ll look back and see how amazing the year has been after graduation—with the assumption I’d be able to start working this year. Exciting times. Much as I was scared of life after college, I’m actually excited…I’m ready to take on a new set of challenges. I’m ready to meet new people and make new friends. I’m ready to learn, grow, and be a better person. I’m ready to change the world in my own way. And I’m pretty much thrilled to fill up these blank pages in the new book of my life.DSC_0014 copy

Life of A (F)unemployed Person

Maybe Awkward. Maybe Perfect.

March 20, 2013. Blue Roast.
I remember when we were in Freshman Year, some of my friends and I would talk about Blue Roast and how exciting it would be to drink alcohol in campus, since it is one of the very few events where drinking alcohol is allowed. But more than the alcohol, part, we were really excited for the blue rose and at that time our worry was, “Who will give me his/her blue rose?”

But as years went by, I learned that the Blue Roast is not just about the receiving of the rose that is important, but it’s really celebrating with your batchmates. It’s in a way the last school event before graduation and the Baccalaureate Mass where you get to bond with your friends, your blockmates, and everyone else in the batch. Initially I thought of volunteering because since I’m a “social butterfly” I really don’t have any permanent sure go to friends. So it would be a win-win situation I guess, no awkward just going around, no one to really hang with, and at the same time, I get to help out in the success of the event. But I’m really happy that I was able to spend the whole night with the CTM’13 JTAers.

Sarah Buyco took this photo

It was fun hanging with these friends the whole night. All the laughs. All the stories. All the “Macky, you can do it!”, “Macky, it’s the only chance!”. All the really crazy conversations. I will really miss this bunch. I felt like I belonged with them…and maybe it’s not just “I felt like” but I can honestly say that I belong with this group of people. It’s even funny how we were aiming for one award but ended up getting another one. It felt weird to have spent  some time up on stage, but we Maia certainly had fun!

Stephanie Ycasiano took the photo.

I was also fortunate to have seen a bunch of friends specially the old ones. It was nice catching up with them specially with Kenley and SamBau, and Robina as well. Friends since first year! It kinda sucks that I didn’t realize I brought a camera with me until I arrived home. Would’ve wanted to take pictures with friends. Regret! Some of my profs were also there like my Theo 141 and 151 profs, sir Lib and sir Mendoza, respectively. My Philo 104 prof as well, sir Calano. Wish sir Allan went as well, he could’ve crashed with us…. I think. Haha!

Getting closer to 11 PM, people were already getting blue roses and some of my friends and I were telling each other “this is it!” I accompanied Iris to give hers to a common friend and it was really cute seeing the whole thing happen; from bringing the guy to her, to her running away, and up to the point where he hugged her. Really cute moment. For me… well it wasn’t how I wanted it to be, but I expected it to be exactly like that.

I gave my blue rose to a good friend of mine and it felt awkward for me to give it, I don’t know why though. I guess because I was just speechless the whole time and I just kept on apologizing if it’s awkward and at one point I just left and went back to my friends. They all kept on asking me how it went and I was just speechless and my face was just red, in fact, my friend was able to take a picture of me fresh from the awkward experience.

Sarah Buyco took the photo.

Don’t mind my bad skin. Bad timing of pimples appearing. Anyway, yeah I guess I was happy. Not sure if I was happy because I had the courage to give it or happy it’s finally over. I went back to my friend whom I gave my blue rose to. We talked a bit and we had a picture taken. Although it was an awkward experience, I guess the whole night was perfect. I was able to hang with my friends, good music—Sponge Cola fan forever—and stunning fireworks. Sad wasn’t able to stay long after. We planned a post-Blue Roast party and apparently they stayed in our friends’ condo until 5 in the morning. Yeah, I’m lame. But it’s definitely not the last time I’d be seeing them, I bet I’ll see them during graduation, and we’re planning for an out of town trip before June. Definitely looking forward to that.

I guess the lesson I learned from Blue Roast and the whole blue rose thing: YOLO. I’m not a fan of it really but it gave me the courage to give it. Haha. No regrets coming home without a rose. It’s all good, I had a great time, and I was finally able to confess to my friend about the 3 year long crush-ness. Haha! <insert loser awkward smile here again>

Maybe Awkward. Maybe Perfect.

It’s Just Somewhere Around The Corner

After conquering finals around 3 weeks ago where not only was I focusing on academics, but also in my last extra-curricular involvement, and finally celebrating the end of the week by attending the Year End Concert of the Company of Ateneo Dancers followed by 16 hours of glorious sleep… I find myself now ecstatic for the coming days.

Today we just had our only graduation rehearsal which didn’t go as exciting as expected. It was quite delightful to see everyone from JGSOM today even if I don’t know probably half or 1/3 of the batch. These are the people who also experienced Accounting, Finance, Leadership and Strategy, Marketing, Operations Management, Statistics, and Law (except for the ME majors). Some might have enjoyed the experience of being able to balance a workbook as much as I enjoyed making marketing presentations; some might have a pleasant LS experience specially in Senior year when most of the batch tried their hand in being entrepreneurs as much as I was reconnected to my love for MS Excel with OpMan and Statistics (I allow you to judge me because of this).

I may not be marching with honors but I am happy for my friends who will be graduating as the program awardee of their respective undergraduate degree programs, or magna cum laude, cum laude and the honorable mention ones as well. I am really happy and excited for everyone in the batch. After four years of taking up more than 100 units worth of major and core courses as well as electives, we will finally be marching and receiving our diplomas on Friday/Saturday (depends which school you belong to). Thrilling. Exciting.

After our graduation rehearsal, we received the invitations for the Baccalaureate Mass and the Graduation.

DSC_0216 copyAnd we also received our togas and cords.

DSC_0208 copyI tried on the toga when I arrived home and I’m quite bothered by the placement of the Ateneo seal. It seems that maybe my toga isn’t of the right size… hoping that it’s just styled that way or else I’ll look quite unique. I guess that’s not so bad…

Graduation is just around the corner and probably by that time I would be listening to Taylor Swift’s “Long Live” (or maybe I’ll be singing it in my head) and I would probably be crying, I’d be nostalgic and I’d be telling my friends “let’s still catch up even after graduation okay?” while shedding some tears and smiling. But before graduation takes place, two more big events to go; the Baccalaureate Mass that will take place on Friday, which will be presided by Cardinal Tagle, and one of the events that Ateneans look forward to…the Blue Roast, on Wednesday.

It’s Just Somewhere Around The Corner