Maybe Awkward. Maybe Perfect.

March 20, 2013. Blue Roast.
I remember when we were in Freshman Year, some of my friends and I would talk about Blue Roast and how exciting it would be to drink alcohol in campus, since it is one of the very few events where drinking alcohol is allowed. But more than the alcohol, part, we were really excited for the blue rose and at that time our worry was, “Who will give me his/her blue rose?”

But as years went by, I learned that the Blue Roast is not just about the receiving of the rose that is important, but it’s really celebrating with your batchmates. It’s in a way the last school event before graduation and the Baccalaureate Mass where you get to bond with your friends, your blockmates, and everyone else in the batch. Initially I thought of volunteering because since I’m a “social butterfly” I really don’t have any permanent sure go to friends. So it would be a win-win situation I guess, no awkward just going around, no one to really hang with, and at the same time, I get to help out in the success of the event. But I’m really happy that I was able to spend the whole night with the CTM’13 JTAers.

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Sarah Buyco took this photo

It was fun hanging with these friends the whole night. All the laughs. All the stories. All the “Macky, you can do it!”, “Macky, it’s the only chance!”. All the really crazy conversations. I will really miss this bunch. I felt like I belonged with them…and maybe it’s not just “I felt like” but I can honestly say that I belong with this group of people. It’s even funny how we were aiming for one award but ended up getting another one. It felt weird to have spent  some time up on stage, but we Maia certainly had fun!

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Stephanie Ycasiano took the photo.

I was also fortunate to have seen a bunch of friends specially the old ones. It was nice catching up with them specially with Kenley and SamBau, and Robina as well. Friends since first year! It kinda sucks that I didn’t realize I brought a camera with me until I arrived home. Would’ve wanted to take pictures with friends. Regret! Some of my profs were also there like my Theo 141 and 151 profs, sir Lib and sir Mendoza, respectively. My Philo 104 prof as well, sir Calano. Wish sir Allan went as well, he could’ve crashed with us…. I think. Haha!

Getting closer to 11 PM, people were already getting blue roses and some of my friends and I were telling each other “this is it!” I accompanied Iris to give hers to a common friend and it was really cute seeing the whole thing happen; from bringing the guy to her, to her running away, and up to the point where he hugged her. Really cute moment. For me… well it wasn’t how I wanted it to be, but I expected it to be exactly like that.

I gave my blue rose to a good friend of mine and it felt awkward for me to give it, I don’t know why though. I guess because I was just speechless the whole time and I just kept on apologizing if it’s awkward and at one point I just left and went back to my friends. They all kept on asking me how it went and I was just speechless and my face was just red, in fact, my friend was able to take a picture of me fresh from the awkward experience.

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Sarah Buyco took the photo.

Don’t mind my bad skin. Bad timing of pimples appearing. Anyway, yeah I guess I was happy. Not sure if I was happy because I had the courage to give it or happy it’s finally over. I went back to my friend whom I gave my blue rose to. We talked a bit and we had a picture taken. Although it was an awkward experience, I guess the whole night was perfect. I was able to hang with my friends, good music—Sponge Cola fan forever—and stunning fireworks. Sad wasn’t able to stay long after. We planned a post-Blue Roast party and apparently they stayed in our friends’ condo until 5 in the morning. Yeah, I’m lame. But it’s definitely not the last time I’d be seeing them, I bet I’ll see them during graduation, and we’re planning for an out of town trip before June. Definitely looking forward to that.

I guess the lesson I learned from Blue Roast and the whole blue rose thing: YOLO. I’m not a fan of it really but it gave me the courage to give it. Haha. No regrets coming home without a rose. It’s all good, I had a great time, and I was finally able to confess to my friend about the 3 year long crush-ness. Haha! <insert loser awkward smile here again>

Maybe Awkward. Maybe Perfect.

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